14th September, 2008
This Is A Lot For One Weekend
The week went by alright. In all reality, I was just waiting for the weekend. The VSA Tet Trung Thu festival was fun. I tried to make my own lantern, but failed. I’m really liking this whole thing. It’s a lot easier knowing that a few of the members are also in my class, so I don’t feel like an odd one out. One of the SOPi girls is in the club too.
So I got a job! It wasn’t the security monitoring position that I had originally wanted, but this will still be good. I’ll get paid more anyway. My “official” title is “Student Assistant II” and all I have to do is take care of the computers for the School of Social Welfare. There were some issues since I am a current student of the school, so they’ll just have to adjust a few things, such as the administrative passwords and deny me access to a few of the computers (Dean’s, advisor’s computers, etc). It will be maybe about 12 hours a week, depending on how much they want me to do. I’m really liking how this semester is turning out.
The weekend finally came, but before I had to take care of a few things. I went to go see an orthodontist for a consultation. Hopefully, my dad will allow me to get the braces. Sure, I’ll feel a little more self-conscious than I already do now about my teeth, but it will be worth it in the end. I’m hoping my dad will let me get the ceramic braces instead of the regular metal ones because the ceramic ones are a little less visible. However, it is $800 more to have the ceramics on both arches.
EC had a little bit of a beer pong thing on Friday night. A few people were there, one old face (he had gone camping last week) and a few new ones. My partner and I lost the first two games we played. On the third game, I had a new partner, his roommate, J and we won! (Despite the fact that I was already tipsy by that point). We slept in Saturday morning and because I’m a chick, I couldn’t stand to see the place look dirty, so I cleaned up while EC was at his Chinese class. When he came back from class, I was talking to him about how I had mentioned to JYL that I thought about taking EC to get a manicure, but she said that it would be a surefire way to get rid of him. So I brought up that conversation with JYL to EC and he mentioned that he actually wouldn’t mind getting a manicure. Just to make sure that he wasn’t “weird,” I asked his roommate, J, if he thought the same thing. Since J agreed that getting a manicure wouldn’t be so bad, I suggested getting one together, all three of us that is. They agreed and that was that. We ate pho (Vietnamese noodle soup) and then got manicures and pedicures. I was enjoying the site of seeing them both get pampered. It was hilarious. Of course, afterward, they kept commenting how different and how “clean” their hands and feet felt. I told JYL that I had gotten them both to go with me and she said, “He must like you a lot.”
Well, with that last sentence, he might like me, but we’re not doing anything serious just yet. I will explain this in a moment.
We headed back to the apartment and earlier, I had mentioned to EC that I wanted to stop by a Vietnamese festival that was going on for the mid-Autumn celebration. Since he also needed to have dinner with family in San Jose, he didn’t want to drive me down and back to the apartment and then back to his parents, so what he suggest? He told me I could take his car out. YES. I KNOW. I took out the 3rd generation Audi A4 because the Porsche is a stick. (Yes, he has not one, but two cars.) So I drove down and picked up MP to go to the festival. She was also in awe of said car. Once I mentioned that I had spent the night at EC’s, she gave me the look of, “Now I know why he let you take the car.”
MP and I briefly went to the festival. I was stopped by a woman who kept talking about how McCain would be better as a president than Obama. I wanted to leave, but she kept talking and MP wasn’t very good at saving me. Now, I don’t particularly have a choice yet, but I just hated that she was trying to persuade me. We left the festival and went to a primarily Vietnamese center. I wanted to get some cake, so I went into a bakery. Behind the register, this girl was asking me where my mother was. I told her that my mother was at home and I was quite confused as to why this girl was asking me that question since I know that I don’t normally go to the bakery. Then the girl said that she was the one who was renting out the room at my house. The second she said that, there was a big “OH SHIT.” look on my face and in my head. I asked her not to say anything to my mother, but if she does, I’ll be fine. It doesn’t hurt to change the story a little bit, right?
I did some brief grocery (more like snack) shopping at the nearby Vietnamese supermarket and then we headed out to eat dinner at PF Chang’s. The food was alright, but I was quite full from having a chicken kebab at the festival. However, I mentioned to MP that my appetite had been cut down dramatically in the last months, so she suggested that I get checked out for ulcers and whatnot.
I finally got back to EC’s place just in time to get ready to leave for San Francisco. EC’s fraternity brother was hosting his 25th birthday at one of the clubs, Mr. Smith’s. It was an alright place. I liked the decor. It was pretty small though. Since it was his friend, I let EC get drunk so I could drive us home. (Refrence to earlier) All night though, he kept introducing me as his “friend.” At this point, I don’t really care if we’re official or not; I’m having fun and he’s having fun. His friends probably think that we are official, but it’s okay. All that matters is what we know, right? As long as he and I are on the same page, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. I’m okay with being his friend and damn, those are some good benefits that I’m getting.
Since he was going to a volleyball match in San Francisco today, we crashed at my place. He left early this morning and then I passed out again. For the rest of this Sunday, I’m waiting until 6pm for the student BBQ hosted by church. I could go earlier to help out, but since I was out all day yesterday, I need to study!
I don’t know if it’s the workload I have, but I feel as if I’m being so much more productive this semester than I have been in a while. It’s a nice feeling to know that I may be getting my life back on track. My mother told me yesterday that my aunts and uncles had commented on my “glow.” She said that when I wasn’t stressed and was happier in life, it showed on my face. I’m glad it did and I have a few people to thank for that, but most of all, I’m proud of myself for getting out of the hole. Well, okay, so I’m not entirely out yet, but I’m climbing and clawing my way out.
Tags: church, clubbing, dentist, EC, JYL, MP, Mr. Smith's, San Francisco, school, Tet Trung Thu, VSA, work
Posted at 2:35 pm | Comment (1)
28th July, 2008
This Was Pretty Shitty
One more hour and the day is over. That’s it.
It started off fine. I went to class, then headed to my appointment with the research center. As I’m waiting for the appointment to finish, I check my emails on my phone and I get a lovely message from my host telling me that my account has been suspended. Why? Apparently one of my hostees had uploaded some proxy files which caused the server to extremely lag last night from all its CPU usage. I was stressing out but couldn’t go home to a computer because I had signed up to donate blood with the Red Cross.
Of course, with my luck, the Red Cross took forever to process the queue line and at that point, I wasn’t even sure if it was going to be worth the wait considering how often I get deferred, but to my surprise, my hemoglobin count was a good 12.9, just above the minimum to donate. So I donated, then dashed out to go back to my apartment to fix this whole domain issue. However, running right after donating is not exactly the best idea.
I reply to the support ticket and wait. As I’m waiting, I do probably one of the stupidest things I could ever do.
I MySpaced him (SB).
And I found out that Bitch #2 moved with him to Washington.
And then I was no longer a pretty sight to see.
I rushed over to my friend’s apartment because I couldn’t take it just sitting here alone in mine. Plus, I needed that hug.
I hate that I’m still affected, that I can still be hurt, that I can still look like I had looked today. I hate that it’s been almost a year and I still can’t get past anything. I hate that I was so stupid today and I hate that I was so upset because I shouldn’t be upset! He’s gone! He has no other ties in my life and I should be happy! I should be rejoicing! But instead, I allow myself to be affected by him, by every stupid thing that reminds me of him. I hate it. I hate me for being this way.
I hate that I’m more focused on my emotions and my feelings instead of my school work and why I can’t get shit done. I’d say that I hate how my sessions with my doctor have been focused on school work, but really, that is what should matter. I should be focusing on why I can’t get any work done, not why I can’t get over this stupid boy. But instead, my priorities get flipped around.
Then you’d think that my shitty day ended there, right? Well no. I signed up to be a tutor through a some program and in order to actually start, all tutors must have some sort of an interview. My appointment for today was at 6pm in San Francisco. I got there early to make sure I wouldn’t get lost and was already waiting outside the room by 5:30pm.
Nobody showed up. I waited until 6:20pm until I decided to leave because it was ridiculous. I wasted my time, my money, and my efforts for nothing. Standing me up like that was quite unprofessional and all I can say now is “Fuck them.” If they want me to work for them, then they had better come out here to Berkeley to meet with me because today was fucking ridiculous.
And yes, that last act pretty much sealed the day for me. I went home and napped because really, I had no more energy to do anything productive. Even now, I barely have the energy to type all this out, but I know that if I try to recall all this tomorrow, it will suck.
I just want everything bad from today to be left in today. It’s kind of like that “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” type of thing. What happened today, needs to stay in today.
Tags: JL, Red Cross, San Francisco, SB, school, website, work
Posted at 11:21 pm | Comments (3)