25th December, 2008
This Is Christmas
We briefly had all five of us together in order to go through the motions of opening presents. My sister got me a nice makeup kit which I plan on using. I think the windup music part is broken though and I can’t seem to find a way to open the box and figure out what’s wrong. I see screws, but I fear that if I try to remove then, it will do me no good if I can’t get to the musical thingy myself. (I’ve forgotten the word for it at the moment).
… Nevermind. Unscrewing it did help. Currently fixing it as we speak.
…Oh my god. There was a piece of styrofoam stuck… barely stuck, but stuck enough to prevent the gears from turning.
Other than that, my day today was relatively uneventful. On Tuesday night, I thought that I could have dinner with JYL, CZ, and NZ, but JYL couldn’t make it down, so I changed my dinner plans and ate at Gordon Biersch with MP and NN. The food was alright, but it was more the company that I wanted since I hadn’t seen both of them at the same time since they came up for the Axio party in August. I had seen MP and NN since then, but all three of us hadn’t been together in a while.
After dinner, we wanted dessert since our selection at Gordon Biersch was quite mediocre. We walked around downtown San Jose for a bit until we landed next to the Christmas in the Park and the Fairmont Hotel. Since it was a classy hotel, we figured it might serve desserts. Luckily for us it did. We ordered a few drinks and chocolate fondue. The drinks were bad and the chocolate alright. Again, the company was more important than the food itself.
Just as we were heading back to the cars, we ran into a friend, D. I hadn’t seen D since two years ago, right before I moved back up to Berkeley. D and NN had a good friendship and had many countless intoxicated nights together. Anyway, we ran into him outside Fahrenheight, the ultralounge. He had us come inside for a bit while we tried to chat. Nhi ordered us a round of Patron (I know, bad move on my part since I drove). We drank and then left D since we had to leave (my mother wanted me to come back with the car since it was late – I’m not on their insurance policy). It was a random encounter, but a good one.
Since that night, I’ve been just spending time at the house. That night, when I returned, I couldn’t sleep at all. I went to bed around 2:30 or so and woke around 4 and after that, could not sleep. I kept tossing and turning, drifting in and out of consciousness. I finally gave up trying to sleep around 8. I ended up crashing later though after I had walked around the neighborhood a bit. It was completely odd since I never had any issues falling asleep unless I’m sick. I didn’t feel sick except for the headache I felt when I decided to get up.
Anyway, tomorrow I’m meeting up with ALL, a friend from high school. We’re planning to get our nails done and whatever else awaits for us.
Night!
Tags: Christmas, family, Gordon Biersch, MP, NN
Posted at 10:11 pm | Comment (1)
23rd November, 2008
This Is The Rollercoaster
And I hate it. One day, I feel fine. I feel like I can get through the day. And the next day, or a few hours later, I feel like crap.
Apparently, my mother went to Vietnam about two weeks ago. From the impression I got from my father, he didn’t know that she was going, why she was going, nor when she’ll be back. I sent her an email earlier asking her how she was and if she was well. I don’t know if she’ll get back to me, but I hope she does. I think this has a lot to do with how I feel right now. I feel like my family isn’t a family anymore, or hasn’t really been a family in a long time. Although the fact that she left is a little surprising, at the same time, not so surprising at all since we’re used to her doing her own thing. But still, to leave without saying a word to us… it’s just one more thing that I know I’ll hold against her.
On top of that, I got my second midterm score back from my AAS class and it was horrible. So horrible that I pretty much have to ace my paper and my final in order to even get a chance of passing the course. And even on top of that, my GSI, in a way, yelled at me via email.
I hate getting yelled at because most of the time, I’ve already yelled at myself for my wrongdoings. Getting yelled at by someone else usually doesn’t make me feel better.
Then I realized that I was so desperate to feel happy, so desperate to not be alone that stayed in a relationship I know I shouldn’t have.
I wouldn’t say that everything is falling apart because I know it could be worse (and it has been worse), I’m just saying that right now, it feels like a good chunk of my life is not going the way it should have been going.
Tags: EC, failing, family, mother, school
Posted at 11:07 pm | Comment (1)