31st May, 2008
This Was After The Wedding
The wedding was lovely. I almost cried during the ceremony because the groom was crying. It was very moving.
The wedding got me thinking though about when I would have my own. At this point, I honestly can’t tell you. I know that at the earliest, it will be five years from now, but it probably won’t. It’ll be more like ten years, assuming that it will take me at least five years to find my future husband.
And the thought about how long it will take upsets me a little. My parents are reaching 60 soon and although they have been living here in the US, they can die at some point in their 70s like my mother’s parents. (My father’s parents died much younger back in Vietnam.)
My sister is most likely going to get married before they leave this world, but what about me? Will I get to share my special day with my parents? Will my daddy get to walk me down the aisle? Will I get that father-daughter dance?
I know, I shouldn’t plague myself with these questions and I definitely shouldn’t hurry up a marriage because I’m afraid my parents won’t be there when I do get married, but it’s really an unsettling though, you know?
The year my aunt got married, my grandfather passed away.
What if… he won’t be there?
Also, what if by the time I get married, my aunt’s husband who knows all there is to know about tradition and customs for a Vietnamese wedding, what if he’s not there either? Then who do I turn to?!? He knows everything!!
I almost cried when the father-daughter dance was going on because I kept thinking about my own daddy. I swear, if I ever catch my daddy on a deathbed, I will tell his ass to stay alive for me. Selfish, I know, but damn it, I want him there!
Okay, I won’t because I know it would be cruel to ask him to suffer more just for me, but it would be nice if he could be there.
Tags: family, wedding
Posted at 11:51 pm |
On June 1, 2008 at 5:04 am Tara said:
June 1, 2008 at 5:04 am
*hugs* Wow, I can just say to hope that your parents hold out at least until they’ve seen both their gorgeous daughters walk down the aisle.
I’m so glad I don’t have that worry. I am worried that my parents won’t really know my kids though, because I’ll likely end up being the 3rd generation to have kids at 30. 
On June 1, 2008 at 11:14 am Julie said:
June 1, 2008 at 11:14 am
Those are really sad and scary thoughts hon. I was really upset that my grandfather didn’t live to see me get married. That was very hard. But like you said, you can’t hurry up and find someone just to get married while your family is healthy and still young. It has to be right.