25th May, 2008
This Is Finally Midnight
I’ve never been so happy to see midnight like I am now. Okay, there may have been a few times, but this is recently. And no, I don’t really get excited about the new year because whatever I was dealing with in the “old” year still carries over. I guess with that logic, I can say the same for why I was so happy for midnight tonight; I just wanted to start the new week fresh, new, and happy.
SB came by earlier this evening and dropped off the money, in full. I was surprised with that one to tell you the truth. I also made it clear to him that there was pretty much no chance we could ever go back to the way things were. He, after a year and a half, has not changed. I, according to him, haven’t changed either, but for that, I beg to differ. Anyway, it was a cold meeting. I know, I was cold, but at this point, I’m done. I’m done crying over him, I’m done dealing with his bullshit, I’m done with just… everything.
I noticed that with any of my relationships that ended badly, it was or would have been extremely hard to have things go back to a nice and very friendly level. In the cases in which I felt upset, I pretty much said, “No. That’s it.” What’s happening now with SB and I is very similar to what happened to VN and me. I said I was done trying to deal with her and trying to regain what could have been left and since then, haven’t looked back. The same has and/or will happen soon with SB. I told him tonight that I honestly believe that there is no realistic chance that he and I could ever be the same.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that I still don’t love him. It’s one of those things that will probably be with me for a long time. I can only hope that my feelings doesn’t screw up the next one, but I won’t know for sure.
Anyways, that tired feeling is coming again. I will have to continue this tomorrow/later today.
Tags: SB
Posted at 12:17 am | Comment (1)