23rd May, 2008
This Was Very Tiring
I finally got a moment of rest this afternoon. Sure, I didn’t spend it particularly wisely since my room is a complete mess again (despite having had it clean just a few days ago), I haven’t washed dishes in a while, and one of my laundry baskets is full.
Soon. I will get to them soon.
Well, the good news is that my loans were finally written on a check so I can pick it up on Tuesday and not be worried about making rent. I can also finally mail in all of my checks for all the bills that need to be paid soon.
Today was nothing particularly spectacular. I woke up and decided to take care of some crap and again, ended being late to work, even though he had told me to show up an hour later than normal. What the hell, right? I just cannot seem to get to work early or on time. This is frustrating.
So SB’s phone has been disconnected temporarily because of unpaid bills. How am I not surprised? According to my birdie (aka his roommate), his old coworker is planning on lending him some money to take care of June’s rent and he will use the last month’s rent for July. I won’t be surprised if he doesn’t end up getting the loan and just moves out by the end of June. Well, I gave him the deadline for tomorrow and if I hear nothing from him, see nothing pending in my account, then I will call his parents on Monday. No exceptions.
Well, even with the check coming through today, I’m still upset. MH and I… we… just hit a rough patch this week. He’s going through some stuff and he’s a very private person. I get that, I do. At first, when I inquired, I must have hit the wrong nerve because he ended up getting upset at me. I understood how my reaction may have come off wrong, so I apologized and just didn’t ask anymore questions. However, that didn’t mean I wasn’t concerned for his well-being and happiness, even if he does have his own way of dealing with it. So for a few days, I would ask him how he was feeling. The first two days, he replied, “Same.” On the third day, he said that didn’t like my asking him that and I didn’t understand why he was upset by my asking. I wasn’t asking for details or anything; I just wanted to know that he was okay and I hoped every time I asked that he would say, “Better.” I worry and when someone worries, it doesn’t hurt to ask questions, right?
Anyway, so on the fourth day, which was yesterday I suppose, I asked him again and the next thing I know, I’m upset, I’m crying and then we just stopped talking. Tomorrow is his birthday and I was planning to stop by with something small. I asked if he wanted to do something but 1) he doesn’t really celebrate his birthday and doesn’t want to do anything big and 2) wasn’t going to feel up to it with his issues. So I proposed to do something just really small; I was going to go get chicken nuggets and stick a candle in it. That was it. No card, no flowers, no balloons… just the candle. When I went to SF the other day, I came across some candles that spelled out his name and I thought it was genius, so I bought them and planned to stick them in the nuggets tomorrow.
But since we last parted badly, I don’t know. His place, unfortunately, isn’t that secure, so I could break in and leave it on his doorstep, but I don’t know if that would be taken the wrong way. I don’t want to do it another day because any other day wouldn’t be his birthday. If I leave it on his doorstep, I can’t light the candles and I don’t want to knock and then run because… no.
Well, I have until tomorrow morning to decide, but it just sucks to have to make this decision. I don’t want to be upset with him, but I am.
That’s only one side of my week drama too.
I’ve been a board member for about two years now at a particular message board and recently, the board owner (the one who only hosts the board) thought that it would be best if we started an entirely new board and wiped this one out. The staff (including myself) talked about it and it was a close vote (3-2), but it was decided that we would keep the board and all its posts. Even the board master (the one who is actually in charge of the board) wanted to keep everything the same and couldn’t understand why we needed it in the first place.
Well, coincidentally, in an effort to repair her Wordpress, the board owner somehow ended up wiping the entire domain clean. All of it from the files to the databases. Now, I can’t honestly understand how that can happen, but it did. Her webhost does weekly backups, so the latest copy she could get would be from Sunday, with or without a small fee. However, the owner showed no interest whatsoever in taking that route and only apologized for having lost the files. It was not only upsetting to us, the board members, but also to a blog owner that was hosted on her domain as well.
There was a lot of speculation, a lot of gossip and a lot of talking. Basically, there was shit talk amongst friends in the same circle. Even though I participated, I still felt bad. I haven’t done anything like that in so long and I know that it’s not a good feeling to know that someone in your social group is talking about you like that.
Anyway, so the board was restored and moved to a different server (mine in fact), but we still lost all the posts. There’s still a window of opportunity for us to retrieve them since it’s not Sunday yet, but again, there’s little hope that the former owner will actually get the damned database.
It’s been stressful. I’m tired. I need to sleep and shower. There are so many things on my to-do list right now. It’s intimidating. At some point, all these things will get done. Somehow.
Tags: MC, MH, SB, Vertigo
Posted at 11:13 pm | Comment (1)