8th May, 2008
This Was More Than I Needed
Today just seemed to suck.
First, at work, there was a rush at about 11am and normally, my partner in crime, N, shows up at that time, but for the last few days, he’s been showing up at 12pm. He says it’s because Big F told him to show up an hour later. Anyway, so I get a little irritated because I don’t like to be frazzled and rushed, but I let it go because there’s no point in holding a grudge for something like that. Besides, they’re all good people.
Second, I try to study at the coffee shop, but I can’t. Either my eyes start getting sleepy or the guy at the end of the bench I’m sitting on moves so much that I feel it all the way down the other end, even though there’s someone between us.
Third, I figure that I’m a little tired, so I will try to take a nap before I go into the clothing store of hell to pick up my check. But I can’t. Then I decide that I will tell SB that he can do whatever he wants to do now.
Fourth-Five zillionth, SB finally calls back and we get into such a huge argument. Basically, in the last month, he’s been spending time with a bunch of other friends and people, right? I get that, I do. I was getting used to it, a little, anyway. Then about a little more than a week ago, we kind of patch things up. He came over and I ended up telling him that I was scared that at some point soon, he was going to just forget about me, because that’s how I had felt over the last few weeks. He tells me that he didn’t forget me; he just doesn’t like to call people when he’s with other people. So I figure, okay, so I get that he spends time with people, but getting a phone call just to say hi would have been nice.
You figure that you care about someone this much and you know that someone cares about you, wouldn’t you want them to know that you’re okay? I mean, he knows that this level of care I have for him is more than any normal level that I have for all my other friends. How do I know if he’s okay if he doesn’t let me know and doesn’t answer when I call?
I remember we used to just call to say good night. It would be a quick fifteen-second phone call, but it was a call nonetheless. Now… nothing. Not even a text message, an email, nothing.
I lost enough friends, do I have to lose one more because of this shit?
Fine, people get busy, but you have so many hours in a day, so many free just minutes in which you can spend just to say hi to someone, especially someone who you say that you care about so much and cares about you just about the same. That’s what happened to us and that’s how I had to let her go. She was getting too busy for me and that hurts… a lot. It makes you feel so much less important because everything else and everybody else comes first, even if they’re things that you feel shouldn’t come first. She stopped calling, stopped initiating conversation and would never have time for me.
He stopped calling, stopped initiating, and is not going to have time for me anymore. Why should I hold my breath for him to come back? Why drag this out even more just so I can get hurt all over again?
I know, this can make me sound a little jealous, obsessive, and clingy, and basically everything else bad. It’s as if I’m one of those girls, “YOU DON’T CALL ME ANYMORE!!” and can’t take it when new people come into his life.
Except, it’s not like that, not at all. I don’t care if he makes new friends, but just don’t leave the ones that you say you care about on the side to fit in when you have the time.
I’m not that kind of girl, I’m not that kind of person. I don’t want to be someone’s friend because it’s convenient, because there’s an opening for me to be a friend.
A friend will call you up just to see if you’re doing okay. A friend will call you as she’s getting ready for work just to say hi. A friend will drop by your work place when she’s in the area just to say hi.
A close friend, a really close one, just doesn’t leave the other hanging only to wonder what he’s doing.
Of course, that was only the first part of the evening.
I went into the clothing store right after my very heated, very loud conversation with SB and the manager, B, gives me more bullshit. Basically, I’m supposed to get five paychecks for my work from the first half of February to the first half of April. (There are five halves of a month). In the first two, they paid for all my breaks, minus a few missed minutes. In the ones that followed, they covered no breaks whatsoever. At first, I assumed that our breaks wouldn’t be covered, but when I found out that they were, I thought that it was standard, especially when they did it the second time around. Then on the third one, I’m told that they were not in fact, supposed to pay me for those breaks. They say that I actually owe them money for those paid breaks.
On the fourth check, they completely missed an entire day’s work (five hours), so I tell B about it. She writes down the day, etc. On the fifth one, the one I just picked up today, there are no corrections and again, they miss another five hour shift. B actually tells me that they did indeed already fixed my corrections before so with this paycheck, they didn’t have to correct anything. She showed me the “corrected” pay stub that she said I received, with the money. She tells me that I should check my account because I already received that money.
I honestly wanted to blow up in her face right then and there in the store, but I didn’t. How dare she tell me all this bullshit? I would have known that if I had indeed gotten paid and basically was trying to make it seem as if I was trying to claim shit that was already claimed. I never got any revised pay stubs, I never got any money, never got any checks, never got any mysterious deposits. Trust me, I’d know about it. I’ve been balancing my check book for the last few months now and I’ve been watching everything like a hawk. I would have known if I ended up with mysterious money.
I’m going to call the US Department of Labor tomorrow to clarify on their actions and to see if that is possible. Depending on what they tell me and depending on the amount, I may or may not file any legal claims. I know it will probably end up being a small amount, but damn it, it’s the principle that counts.
With a few minor perks, this has seriously been a really crappy few weeks. It’s as if I can have this really good thing, like my new job, and everything else just decides to fall apart.
Well, I suppose I have one bit of good news: I am going to go back to the university this Fall. After the talk I had with my doctor on Monday, I realized that I can’t wait for something to tell me to go back to school. I have to make that decision myself and honestly, there’s only one way to find out if I’m ready or not to go back to school right? I going to fill out my papers and send it out tomorrow.
I’m going to be a Bear again and it’s going to feel awesome.
Tags: clothing store from hell, friends, SB, school, work
Posted at 12:24 am | Comment (1)