The wedding was lovely. I almost cried during the ceremony because the groom was crying. It was very moving.

The wedding got me thinking though about when I would have my own. At this point, I honestly can’t tell you. I know that at the earliest, it will be five years from now, but it probably won’t. It’ll be more like ten years, assuming that it will take me at least five years to find my future husband.

And the thought about how long it will take upsets me a little. My parents are reaching 60 soon and although they have been living here in the US, they can die at some point in their 70s like my mother’s parents. (My father’s parents died much younger back in Vietnam.)

My sister is most likely going to get married before they leave this world, but what about me? Will I get to share my special day with my parents? Will my daddy get to walk me down the aisle? Will I get that father-daughter dance?

I know, I shouldn’t plague myself with these questions and I definitely shouldn’t hurry up a marriage because I’m afraid my parents won’t be there when I do get married, but it’s really an unsettling though, you know?

The year my aunt got married, my grandfather passed away.

What if… he won’t be there?

Also, what if by the time I get married, my aunt’s husband who knows all there is to know about tradition and customs for a Vietnamese wedding, what if he’s not there either? Then who do I turn to?!? He knows everything!!

I almost cried when the father-daughter dance was going on because I kept thinking about my own daddy. I swear, if I ever catch my daddy on a deathbed, I will tell his ass to stay alive for me. Selfish, I know, but damn it, I want him there!

Okay, I won’t because I know it would be cruel to ask him to suffer more just for me, but it would be nice if he could be there.

Later today, I’m going to meet up with my sister in SF to attend her friend’s wedding. I suppose that she didn’t want to go alone, so I’m accompanying her despite not knowing a lot of people, except for the few high school friends of hers that will be there.

So I got my hair fixed. I decided to go to the place that I had originally wanted to go to, but had been turned away when they said the haircuts were at least $60, when in fact, they are not. Lol. I ended up spending a total of $90 for this haircut. I’m a little bitter, but I’ll get over it.

Thinking back on my last post, I haven’t had a call from BART boy since Monday. Odd.

Having sex while your tissue box is burning is awesome by the way. That’s probably the first time I’ve accidentally burned something down.

Haven’t spoken to CC either.

I hate using fragmented sentences.

It’s cold despite it almost being near summer.

The whole thing with MH still isn’t sorted out.

The whole thing with SB is done. He can move to Washington, he can have sex with that girl who’s living with him, he can do whatever the hell he wants now. I almost want to check her out because he mentioned her workplace, but I’m not going to. I almost want to go tell the other girl (from last year) that she made the right choice by leaving his sorry ass, but I’m not going to.

I feel like being evil and mean now just to get my sorrows out.

And now I need to get ready since I want to go shopping before I meet up with my sister.

That counting down to midnight thing on Saturday didn’t really help. What happened on Sunday?

CC and I had made plans to hang out on Sunday. I was expecting him to call either in the late morning or early afternoon, except he didn’t. He ended up calling me at 7 in the morning to tell me that he was downstairs. So I let him in and I went back to sleep and I suppose he either went to sleep or tried to sleep.

Yes, it was the two of us on my teeny tiny twin bed.

However, I didn’t think too much of it. I just figured that it was friendly so, I didn’t care. That and because I wasn’t going to sleep on the floor. Well, at some point before he finally got up, I had the feeling, which was confirmed, that he may have been thinking/wanting me more than a friend. Although I had seen it coming, I was still thrown off by it and probably acted weird for the rest of the day. We went to go see Forgetting Sarah Marshall and then he took me home.

I really don’t need more men to deal with. Seriously.

Yesterday, I met up with BART Boy for our third date. We went to a theater/restaurant that was showing Harold and Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo Bay. It was a funny movie and about halfway through, I rested on him. It was nice. We walked back to the direction of the BART station and then decided to get some dessert. When he dropped me off, we had yet another awkward goodbye thing and then I left.

He’s nice, he’s sweet, and he doesn’t want me to pay for things. (What every girl wants, no?) Except for the fact that I’m just not really feeling it. I don’t want to date casually if I don’t see anything more than just friendly dates. I know, I should be taking it slow, I should be thinking about it slowly, but if he’s paying for everything, I don’t want to be remembered as the girl who he wasted money on, you know?

There’s that and then there’s the shallow reason: between him and Asian Dude, Asian Dude looks a lot better on paper. Asian Dude is younger, sure, but he’s at a four-year university, he’s studying molecular toxicology, and so on. So on paper, he looks better. If we all remember correctly, SB was not so good looking on paper and that was a big no-no from the parents and practically, that should be a no-no to me too.

I know, I should believe in that whole true love thing, but I need to set standards, you know? I can’t be with someone who may take about twenty years to get somewhere in life because that means I’ve got to work my ass off and I believe that in any relationship, there should be a balance in effort. I’m not saying that both need to make the same amount of money, but if the wife makes a lot of money for something that she enjoys doing and doesn’t find it extremely strenuous while the husband is also doing something he loves, then that’s okay. But if the wife is a trophy wife and the husband has to work his ass off to make ends meet, then that’s not cool at all.

I don’t even know what I’m doing really. Did I mention that I’m still hoping for KM too? I mean, I’m not putting in effort or anything, but if he ever decides to get up off his ass, then yeah. I’d be here.

It’s all too messy.

Today was a nice day. I was supposed to work, but the big boss is getting pissy with me, so he decided to call me twenty minutes before my shift and say that I shouldn’t come in today; he’s got three people working. Of course, he didn’t because the wife ended up calling me later asking me when I was supposed to come in. Apparently, nobody knew that he had decided that I wasn’t coming in, not even my coworker.

So with my day off, I decided to do a little bit of shopping and to also get my hair cut. At first, I wanted a trim, but then decided to do something different and got layered bob instead, kind of like Posh Spice. It’s cute, it’s nice. Overall it’s a good cut, but I think that the stylist could have done a little bit better. However, it was my fault because it was an impromptu decision so of course, all the good places were booked. Darn.

What’s next on my list? Well, my PE class started this morning. Since my loan came in, I picked up the check today and put it in a separate checking account at a separate bank so I know not to touch it at all. I put anything extra that I haven’t set aside for bills in my main account so I know exactly how much I can spend and whatnot. I finally bought the books I need for my two summer courses and fortunately for me, Southwest decided to lower the tickets to Las Vegas, so I was able to book a round-trip flight for about $152 (including taxes and fees). That’s a pretty good deal!

I’m really excited for Vegas. I’m going to NN and it’s going to be awesome. Apparently there will be some other people joining us, but I’ll be okay. It’ll be my first time in Vegas and my first time on a plane since 2005! What better place to go to than to Vegas, right? I just hope it’s not one of those cities that’s hyped up too much so when I go, it’s not as I expected and then I end up having an okay time.

I got a little bit of work done this weekend at least. I finally, after a ridiculously long time, updated my fanlisting script to Enthusiast. I had been using PHPFanBase and I was too scared and too lazy to switch. Except I knew that I had to change it; if I sent out an email to my hosted asking them to remove any insecure scripts, then I had to do the same, right? It took a little bit to get the hang of, but I figured out how to keep my layout and structure and just stick in the templates for Enthusiast. All is good and now I have to go tell my hosted to seriously remove the crap.