Today was a little better at least. Not as depressed, but still a little down I suppose.

At least I had a few good laughs though, right? Two of them I won’t mention because they’re inside jokes, but the third one, I suppose I can tell the story.

So these two guys come rushing into the store and grab their phone ordered sandwiches. They’re both out of breath. They come up to the register to pay for their sandwiches. Guy #2 says, “Thanks for paying for dinner.” With that, I assume that Guy #1 is picking up the tab, so I charge his card for two sandwiches. Guy #1 signs the paper and says nothing. Then I look up and here’s Guy #2 sticking out his card to me, as if he’s going to pay for his sandwich. Of course, I say, “Crap” because Guy #2 was probably joking and really meant to pay for his own sandwich. I had to refund Guy #1 in cash since I couldn’t put it back on his card.

Nothing too particularly interesting today. I went to work, went home for five hours, then went back to work for another four… more like three and a half since I was almost half an hour late to my second shift. In my defense, I was late because I was trying to clean up the entire domain from any bugs/hacks that got through in my stupidity when I upgraded to Wordpress 2.5.

See, in the newest version, the configuration file has a place that says “Secret Key.” I didn’t know that and left it as the default. I’m still not too sure exactly what it does, but I have a feeling that because I didn’t change it, my domain was somehow compromised and all these stupid lines of coding got inserted into random PHP files and random files were created.

The first time I caught this about a week and a half ago, I noticed that the edited files all had the same timestamp, or at least the same day, so it was easy for me to go through all the files and fix them. Then I contacted my host about it, thinking that maybe I wasn’t the only one (and in fact, I wasn’t). My host decided to try and restore my domain, which the compromised files intact, right after I had just finished cleaning it. When she did that, all the timestamps were reset to the date the files were put back in, so when I was cleaning today, I had to go through each and every PHP file to make sure that I had gotten everything.

And damn, does Wordpress have a lot of PHP files.

Everything is clean now and I’ve sent a notice/email to all those I host urging them to get rid of insecure scripts and to update to the latest version everything. I can’t wish that it will never happen again, but with my luck, it will, but hopefully the domain will be safe for a while.

Speaking of upgrading, I finally took the task of upgrading my main blog to 2.5 and I must say that I am quite pleased with what they did with tags. The only reason why I stayed on 2.2 is because 2.3 had shitty tag management; actually… it was non-existent, so the plugin I was using was far superior. But I upgraded and imported today, with just a few minor things to fix, and I am a happy camper. Good job Wordpress. Now I really want to get that sweatshirt (or mug works too).

I don’t know for sure how long this feeling of depression will last, but it is here and it feels very familiar.

The loss of a friend has never been easy for me to handle and this one has really got me down in the dumps. Sure, it may be too soon to call, but sometimes, when you know, you know.

Goodbye my dear, my love, my sweet. Only in my dreams will we ever regain the glory we once had, only in my dreams.

Today, unsurprisingly, did not fair any better than my weekend did.

First, I fell asleep a little late, so instead of getting about seven hours of sleep, I ended up with about six or so. Second, as I went to my doctor’s office, I was anticipating that he would prescribe me some more pills, but he didn’t. We instead talked about how it’s possible that my need to rebel has now become an unconscious need.

For example, I was given the task to try and read for about an hour over the weekend. Because I kept telling myself that I had to do it, that it was necessary that I do it (not because I wanted to), something inside of me may have decided to fuck with all that and rebel, which was by making me sleepy enough to take a nap. He thinks that maybe it happens with not only my schoolwork, but with anything that I have no true desire to do and that I have to truly make the effort to do.

In my last ten minutes of my session, I mentioned about how I was down this weekend and how it had to do with SB and of course, I start to cry. I was pushing the time so when I left, I was still in tears and had to sit in order to compose myself before walking home.

Then I took a nap after I got home, but it wasn’t exactly the most fulfilling nap either. I also had to make a phone call to customer service in order to cancel my bank account since I have no need for two anymore and that took forever and a day. First, I could remember what the hell my security pin for the phone was and I had such a hard time trying to get to the operator. Seriously people, just have the “0″ button be designated for the damn operator because some people do not want to jump through hoops just to talk to someone.

Speaking of peeves, I’ve decided that when people are in a line to checkout or buy something, they need to either hang up or put the damn phone down. I’ve decided that it’s quite rude to keep yakking and yakking on the phone while someone is trying to help you and speak to you, i.e. the cashier, and it’s hard for that person to make a nice transaction like that. Common courtesy people, common courtesy.

It’s just been an emotional day for me. First, there was the crying at my session, then as I was rehearsing for our Praise night on Sunday, when we’re supposed to sing songs to praise God, I start to cry or get watery. Possibly due to the spiritual connection and possibly due to my relating that to SB. I don’t know for sure, but it made me more emotional than I would have liked.

I want this day to be over, I want tomorrow to start off nice and clean, and I just want to not feel sad right now.