2nd March, 2008
This Is The Cleaning
Yes, I am cleaning my room. I started my cleaning yesterday to accommodate the purchase of new shoes, so I’m in my cleaning mode. I’m currently cleaning out my jewelry right now, mostly my earrings and whatnot, but in one of my drawers, I came across a pendant that I bought a while ago. I haven’t worn it in a few months now and there’s a reason why that’s bigger than “I got bored.”
It’s a circle and on this circle, the word “GODDESS” is etched on it. To be honest, I don’t feel like a goddess anymore. I know that my current site still says that, but it’s really just for show. And this is going to sound completely stupid, but I think a reason why I don’t feel like a goddess is because I don’t have my god. Well, that reason and the fact that I have low self esteem to begin with.
I don’t feel like my best, I don’t feel as if I can do anything anymore. I just feel that I can only do what people will accept. Like the whole job search thing, I failed at that. I’m in retail for God’s sake. I know that it’s not that bad a profession, but this wasn’t my ideal job, you know that. I wanted something in a non-profit, I wanted to do something good for the community besides play Barbie. Sure, this a different way to interact with the community, but I wanted something more fulfilling. I’m not saying that I don’t enjoy the work I do; I do enjoy it. I just imagined myself in an office, getting paid more than I was now, working in a position that would make my parents proud of me.
I wonder if God does reformats.
Tags: life
Posted at 8:46 pm | Comments (2)
2nd March, 2008
This Was The Uninteded Break
It’s been a long time since I posted in here and for that, I apologize. I didn’t know that work would put me out that much, but it does. It’s a bit tiring to stand on your feet for hours.
Anyway, updates… School is fine. I already took my first midterm and didn’t do as well as I had wanted, but that was my fault for not studying as much as I should have. Work is fine; the big boss likes me there, so I’m not too worried about my job now as long as I continue to do everything right. Sleep… well, I get as much as I can now.
Other than that, things have been relatively okay. I’m still seeing my doctor twice a week and whatnot. Most of my updates now are on my main blog since I’m still trying to participate in the Blog365 challenge, so check there for more info. I’ll try and update this one as much as I can, but there are no guarantees.
Tags: school
Posted at 12:19 pm | Comments (2)