And it’s only Thursday, which means I have one more day of work, then a day of “rest,” but not really. I have a test in one week and still have to catch up on reading another two chapters for my Sociology class. I have two projects that I have to work on for The Daily Californian; one is by this Saturday night and the other by Sunday night. I have a gazillion comments to reply to and blogs to visit in order to leave my comment as a good token. I have more blogs to read in my RSS feeder, especially a whole crapload of Joana’s. There are two more bills to pay and I still have two paychecks to pick up at the office. I still have yet to fill out the paperwork for my retail job, so technically, I’m working for free. I am writing down my hours though. My room is a bit messy again.

And that’s just… the last few days in a nutshell. Yesterday and today were busy days at the store since many of the girls were preparing for Valentine’s Day. I did end up snagging a nice red dress for myself, which is pretty awesome. Mostly, I’m tired. I’m getting better at being on my feet for six hours, but only barely. Today was an exception because I had one demanding customer that practically wiped me out and then there were rushes at different times, so… I’m just basically tired. I had to squeeze in a dinner between work and school and ended up being about forty minutes late to my class (my class is scheduled to be three hours long). I dressed all nice and fancy only to see my friend show up in… jeans. What the hell. But he said that the attire was out of the ordinary for him since he usually wears slacks and dress shirts for church, so for him, it was too common.

I’m just tired. This will get better, hopefully. The only thing is that since the manager at the store is away this week for a fashion show, she’s not here to train me herself, so I don’t know if I’m doing something right or wrong, nor do I know what the real working environment will be like. Also, I’m still working in a trial period; my getting hired wasn’t definite. It was more of a “We’ll have you come in to work for a few days and if you’re good, we’ll keep you. If not, then off you go!” I’ll still get paid for the work I do, but it’s just a little frustrating to know that my future is still in the balance. That and I still don’t know what my wage is!

Again. Tired. The dress I’m wearing is still on despite how irritating it’s become in the last few hours. I should really remove it… but… again… tired. I need… something. Comfort food, comfort people, comfort bed. Mmmm. Comfort bed… so tempting…

Yes, I found a job! It’s not the kind I was looking for (in a non-profit organization), but it will help with the bills and that’s what I need right now. I found a job at a retail store that just opened in my town. It’s a few blocks away so I can walk to the store. I don’t know what the salary is just yet, but I was told by the manager that it pays well. Now that I think about it, I think I already talked about this last time.

See? This is what happens when I don’t blog more often. But sometimes, it’s hard to since I’m trying to keep up with Blog365 so some of the thoughts that I have I feel I just put there first. I know that the rules state that I don’t have to keep all my posts in one blog, but I do so when it’s all done, I can count my number of posts and say wow, there are at least 365 posts this year! That will be amazing, won’t it?

So yes, today was my first day of work. I worked for five hours with a half hour break (so total 5:30). I’m thinking that I don’t get paid for that break which is kind of a bummer so technically instead of 27.5 hours a week, it’s now down to 25 hours. Darn it. Oh well. It’s still money, right? So far, it’s okay. I’m trying to learn still so I really dislike this process. I want to be able to get everything down and just do my own thing without having to ask what I need to do next, etc. I’ll get the hang of it though, I will.

Yeah, so that whole fasting thing is harder than it looks. I can fast for one day, but to keep it up definitely will be my hardest challenge. I already failed since all of my half-meals were more than half-meals. Now I’m thinking that maybe I should tweak the rules a little. I don’t want to make excuses, but I do want to be realistic. One meal a day? That’s a bit too much to try and do consistently six days a week, you know? I’ll probably either do two full meals or have one full meal and two other eating times, at max. So no snacking and no candy.

But enough about that. I must share with you the startling change.

I went home this weekend for about 24 hours. On Sunday was a family party that I wanted to attend and since I have a Saturday morning class, I couldn’t leave for my parents’ on Friday. First startling thing: I read a book on the way to my parents’. I rarely ever read or do anything productive on the way there, but this time, I read my assigned reading. Second startling thing: I read a chapter in a textbook! Normally it takes me a while to do that, but lately, I’ve been really trying to keep up with my studies (as little as it may be) so that’s new too. (I’ll get to the third and final thing in a moment.)

So the party was on Sunday. I think that my uncles and aunts knew of my current situation with my not being enrolled and having to take care of myself so they over “red-enveloped” me. My uncle gave me the most with a whopping $100 bill! His wife had already enveloped me earlier, but he decided to give me money too (secretly of course). My aunt gave me not one, but two envelopes. My two cousins gave me envelopes (and others, but that’s beside the point right now). I received quite a bit this year, a lot more than usual, but at least I can take care of some payments, right?

It was good to spend this time with my family. I missed them and it really made me feel better. I know that usually when I’m home, I’m not always spending time with my family, but being in the same house does make me feel better anyway. And you know what the last surprising thing was?

I didn’t want to leave! I woke up Sunday morning and thought, “I wish I didn’t have to go back today.” I actually tried to stay longer too after the party was over. I grabbed my textbook and plopped on the dining table to start some more reading, but my mother said,

“Maybe you should head back now. Get your dad and he’ll take you now.”
“Well, you know, we don’t have to go right away. We can go whenever it’s convenient for you; it doesn’t have to be now.”
“No, no, no. It’s alright. We’ll just take you back now.”

That is a complete 180 that just happened this weekend. Normally, I can’t wait to get out of the house and back to Berkeley, but this time, this time was different. I actually wanted to stay! I think this change has to do with my dad giving me money a few weeks ago. That great gesture of love took down some pretty big walls of mine and I think that’s also what contributed to my feeling homesick last week too.

I love my family. ♥

So, this whole fasting thing is going to be a little tougher than I thought. I think I already violated that today. I had my “meal” around lunch time, which was the leftover ravioli from last night. Then before class, I called Anh Hong to place a spring roll order. I thought that two spring rolls would be enough for my little meal, so I ordered two orders of it. Well, two springs rolls was just enough, so four was too much. For my first little meal of the day, I had the two rolls. After class… I had the other two. Technically, all those four combined definitely adds up to more than one meal.

Okay, so I’m not going to back out. I’m going to get this right damn it. I will persevere. I will fast!

My candle lighting is going well. I’m using tea lights and I thought that instead of blowing it out after I’m done praying, I’d let it burn all the way through. Tea lights are cheap anyway. I bought a small set of them to get me started, but I think Walgreens sells them in a big pack for a really cheap price.

So my whole job thing I’m still kind of avoiding. I’m still a little freaked out and am scared as hell to come in to see the big boss. I haven’t set up an appointment yet, but I will for next week.

But on the happier news… I got hired! There is a new clothing store right off of campus and they had the help wanted sign, so I dropped off my resume and filled out an application on Sunday. The woman who owns the place, BL, gave me a call yesterday and I met with her today. I did my awful best to sell myself and well, it worked! She hired me right after our interview and I start on Monday! The great thing is that I’m starting off a lot more than minimum wage (what it is, I don’t know yet) and I’ll be working almost 30 hours a week. Hurray!

Okay, I know it’s not the ideal job I wanted to take during this break, but at the time, I didn’t know how tough it would have been. I thought, Hell, I’m a marketable gal. I’m smart, I’m hardworking, I’m great. The potential employers will see that… I think. Well, when you’re trying to apply for an actual job in actual non-profits without an actual degree of some sort or any actual experience… yeah, that’s a bit tough. I really didn’t think it all the way through, but it’s okay. This is income and this will help.

It’s the new year! Chuc Mung Nam Moi! That means almost one year from now, my daddy will be 60 (he’s a late rat). Holy cow. I should think of a nice birthday present for him. What do you give a working father for his sixtieth birthday?