23rd January, 2008
This Is The Update
So what has happened? Quite a bit. My friend, EA, turned 21, had the fabulous 21 bash, which helped me meet someone. He has my number; he walked me home and I used his phone to call mine, so I have his too. I just don’t know when to call because he’s part of a co-ed fraternity and well, has school whereas, I don’t. I don’t know when it’s appropriate to call; I was thinking that if he doesn’t call by Friday, then I might because I remember he mentioned that he only had one class on Friday.
Anyway, besides that, I learned some interesting things from my doctor on Monday. I told him what had happened over the weekend and he finally gave me some feedback. He thinks what happened is this: When I lived with my parents and even afterward, I latched onto their values and morals. They didn’t always fit with me, which was a reason why I did so many things I knew they wouldn’t have approved of. Now since I’ve pretty much distanced myself even further from them and this time, more officially, I’ve also let go some of their morals that I once thought were my own.
I think that a part of me knew that I never really had my own set of concrete morals and values, so the last few weeks have just been a very good wakeup call for that. I just have to start slowly; pick one thing and work on it. In time, I’ll create my own system and it will be one I don’t have to feel guilty about. There are some gray areas that I’m not ready to make black and white just yet, but there are some that I think I can work on.
It’s going to be quite a process, but it’s one that I’m going to have to take in order to feel better about myself.
One thing I learned this week: instant mashed potatoes are delicious.
And thank you to all those who are concerned for me, who care about me, who worry about me, and aren’t biting my head off for having done the things I did and for well, going through this. I appreciate it and I love knowing that I can turn to you without being afraid that you’ll completely flip out on me, making me feel worse about myself.
Tags: EA, family, party
Posted at 11:37 pm | Comment (1)
19th January, 2008
Protected: This Is Where I Say Stuff
Tags: DL, drinking, piercing, RN, SB, weed
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