31st October, 2007
This Is Harder Than I Thought
You know, for a second, I actually thought I could get over this sooner, or at least feel a little better, not necessarily about myself, but just better. Even if it were just for a little while, I thought that I could feel better. But I don’t anymore. I am back down and I just don’t want to get up anymore, especially if I’m just going to keep falling.
And because of everything that’s happened to me in the last two and a half years, I really want to try and just not be attached to anyone anymore. The first year and a half was a huge regret and the next year was too painful, so I just really want to make sure that I’m not going to get hurt again. If, and I do mean if, I ever get back what was lost to me, I’m going to hold onto it for as long as I can because I cannot afford to lose it again, especially as easily as I had let it go this time. I’ll take better care of it once I find it again and until then and until I am fully ready and trusting enough, I just don’t want to get involved anymore.
That makes me sound like I want to be a hermit or alone, doesn’t it?
Posted at 3:11 am |
On November 3, 2007 at 12:40 pm Julie said:
November 3, 2007 at 12:40 pm
It’s ok to not want to be attached to anyone for a while. You have to let yourself heal.
On November 4, 2007 at 3:17 am Maria said:
November 4, 2007 at 3:17 am
See, if I heal, then that just leaves it open for someone else to break again.