31st December, 2007
This Was Another Gilmore Girls Post
Yes, it’s been quite a marathon for me with this whole Gilmore Girls thing. I have to post now because of my feelings from watching the episode. Rory and Lorelai break down and really cry because they both feel that everything is falling apart for them. Rory is the overachiever and is taking five classes at Yale because that’s what everybody else was doing, until she is told to drop a class because she will fail it if she continues to take on her five-class load. Lorelai is trying to open an inn and feels as if she’s running it all by herself since her partner, Sookie, has to take care of her baby and Lorelai is running out of money to keep the inn on track to open.
So both Rory and Lorelai feel as if they’re falling apart and I relate to this because, well, in a way, that’s what happened to me. Not the exact circumstances of course, but it hit me. Maybe it was more of the fact that they felt as if they were failing because man, I have got to tell you: I feel like I’m failing almost every other day, at least once a week. I know, it’s not good for my self-esteem, but that’s how I’ve been feeling for a long time. Once in a while, I’ll get a break and all will be good again, but then it will start back up and I will put myself in a dark place.
I’ve realized that a lot of my distress and despair is just all my own doing. I mean, if I could have handled things better, would I be here right now? If I hadn’t snooped into SB’s stuff, would I have found out about her and gotten upset like I did? If I had handled things better, would I have gotten upset about her to the point where I drove him into her? It’s a lot of “what if’s” and I know I shouldn’t dwell on the fact, but this is what I do, this is what I’ve done for as long as I can remember. I’ve never been fully comfortable with who I am and I am constantly bringing myself down, creating drama where there shouldn’t be.
Anyway, it’s late. I should be getting to bed.
Tags: Gilmore Girls, SB
Posted at 3:52 am | Comment (1)