28th December, 2007
This Is The Morning After
I honestly don’t know what to do here. Both of us are angry, proud, and stubborn. Yesterday, MP and NN picked me up and we had planned to just hang out, so I thought that it would be okay to invite RN. However, I didn’t know that in that current situation, having a boy come over was not a good idea, so we ended up trying to find a place to eat around 10pm. Then we thought about going to see Sweeney Todd and dropped off RN, but we decided not to watch that movie. We ended up spending the night together in NN’s boyfriend’s room instead.
However, I knew that I had to let my parents know what my plans were, especially if they included my not sleeping in the house that night. Before I left the house, I relayed the message to my brother that I was going out, but I had assumed that I would be going home. Since we were in the area when we decided that I would sleep over, I thought I’d go home to pick up a few things and to also let them know that I was leaving. I didn’t want to ask them or anything of that sort. I figured that as parents, they would have wanted to know about my whereabouts in a situation like this. So yes, for a second, I got off my high horse to tell them.
First I told my mother and she didn’t exactly have a happy look on her face, but she didn’t say anything besides okay. MP thought that as long as I told one parent, it was all good. I knew better than that, so I went in to tell my father I was leaving. His first response was, “Go do whatever you want.” and I really hate that kind of talk. It just spreads more negative energy around than needs to be spread. Second, he said that if I was going to try and get his approval on this going out thing and do it anyway, with or without it, then I shouldn’t have come in to tell him at all. After trying to tell him that wasn’t the case, he finally asked me if I was coming in there for approval or for informational purposes and I told him that I was there to inform them of what I was doing. Even though we are angry and not wanting to talk to each other, I figured that I owed them that much if I was going to do that in front of them. It’s courtesy, you know?
Anyway, after leaving, I just felt horrible for the whole night. All I wanted to do by the time we got to NN’s boyfriend’s place was go back home, except I really didn’t want to bother MP again by driving me all the way back, so I stayed. We ended up watching Rush Hour 3 and then NN decided to pass out. I slept pretty okay, but woke up a few times. I finally woke up when the delivery man was at the place to deliver their box spring, so we all got up, got ready, then went to Costco to pick up something to eat.
I’ve been at home for about two hours now. My brother is the only one here at the moment and that’s about it. I haven’t seen anyone else. I really don’t know what to do here. My sister says that they may be more at ease (not completely, but just a little more) if I let them know what my plans are for Berkeley. I should tell them that I really do want to go to Berkeley to see if I can make it on my own and in the event I can’t, then I will really consider moving back home.
This is just all so frustrating! We just are not making this situation any better and I am not sure of how to approach this now knowing that they aren’t. I feel as if they’ve pretty much given up and aren’t trying to make something salvageable from all this mess. But, who can blame them, you know?
Tags: family, MP, NN, school
Posted at 2:24 pm | Comments (2)