29th November, 2007
This Is So Lame
Seriously, how hard can it be to pick up a package at the post office? Well, difficult. One, the post office is located right across the street from where the girl works. Two, the post office is located in the area in which SB lives and works. So… what do I do? Kindly ask the roommate to pick up my package.
I just feel so… helpless, so … lame. FL says the reason why I’m doing all of this, acting like this is because I haven’t let go yet. I haven’t let go of our relationship, I haven’t let go of him. I know that I should, I know that I have to… I just don’t know how to.
Just walking out there today, I wanted to break down. I read a flyer about the crime rate in my neighborhood. Apparently, there is a group of people who are committing burglaries and whatnot. There has been one serious injury, one attempted rape, and one rape. You know what the morbid thing was? I wished that I would be their next target. I know, not an improvement from yesterday, but I still view it in a little bit of a different light. I mean, I’m not actually doing anything to hurt myself, I’m just wishing it upon myself. I know, just as bad.
My sister says that a problem with me is that with each boyfriend, I latch on and I latch on tightly. That may have been the case, but no one had ever gotten under my skin like he did. No one did what he did to me.
But I have to let go now. I have lost. He chose her. It was never going to be fair on either side. It wouldn’t be fair to him for me to ask her to leave and it wasn’t fair to me for her to stay.
My sister was right. I should have just left.
I have to let go and never come back. I have to let go. Let go Maria. Let go.
Posted at 8:02 pm | Comments (4)
29th November, 2007
This Is Still A Daze
Is it wrong of me to want the comfort from the one person I cannot get it from? I just… I just want him to hold me and say that everything is going to be okay.
Because I still have a hard time believing that it will.
Posted at 1:14 am | Comments (2)