27th November, 2007
This Was The Letter
“I apologize for the harsh words with which we parted ways, however, in a way, I did mean to say them. There were always things that didn’t make sense in your stories, I just never thought that you could be a person that would tell me lies. You hurt me in that way. You knew and you know that lies are just somethings that I will not put up with.
“Perhaps it was also my fault. I either didn’t see or chose not to see what could have been wrong with you, what could have not made sense with you. I made you into a prince, a king, a god almost, without realizing that there was more the story than what you were telling me.
“Does a part of me think that you really aren’t as bad as you look right now? Possibly. But I’m also afraid that giving you the chance to explain yourself means that you will spin me another web of lies which will eventually hurt me.
“She does have a nickname. I knew the entire time. I was just hoping that you wouldn’t lie to me about it, but you did, among other things. Despite the fact that I may have been slightly upset with the truth, having to find out that you lied upsets me more.
“What I said to you was possibly uncalled for, but my weapons are with words. I could have slapped you, could have punched you, but I didn’t. Did I mean to hurt you, yes I did, because I felt that it was what you deserved.
“Anyway, no need to drag this out longer than it needs to be. Have a wonderful life SB. It will be much sweeter now that I’m gone.
“P.S. I still want your phone off my name by noon on Friday.”
Posted at 11:32 am | Comments (2)
27th November, 2007
This Is Where The Guilt Comes In
Damn it. Why’d you have to be right Julie?
I still care and because I still care, I’m not sitting here wondering if he’s alright. But after what I said, after what I said, I know that I no longer have that right to care. But at the same time, I’m still upset with him. He knew, he knows that lying to me is bad, yet he did it anyway. The sad part is, he had to lie about something, even from the beginning. After thinking about certain things, I realize that some of them don’t make complete sense.
I really do need a knight in shining armor right now. I know, I said that I fear the whole falling for someone thing, but I obviously can’t take care of myself and if someone perfect were to just come and take care of me, it would be nice.
You know what the sad part is? Those anti-depression pills are looking very appealing right now.
Posted at 11:15 am | Comments (2)