17th November, 2007
This Is It
Why is it that every time I feel like puking, there’s always pizza?
Well, rest assured, I don’t feel like physically puking. I just think it’s time to either clear things up and set things absolutely straight, or to leave, but I shouldn’t have to put up with this. Not for his sake anyway. If I want to do something, I should do it for me, no matter how much it breaks my heart to see him like that. He’s strong anyway, he’ll live. He’ll find that one thing that makes him happy each day and focus on that. He’ll get better.
I need to do this. Or something. I just can’t sit here.
Posted at 6:55 pm | Comments (2)
17th November, 2007
This Is Me Being Stupid
I know. I know. I know.
The answer’s in front of me. Leave. How hard can it be? Just leave. It’s not going to do you any good Maria. You’re just going to hurt yourself. You’re going to hurt yourself by “swallowing” it. It’s obvious that he’s not into you anymore. It’s obvious. You know that. And you know that she wants him too. And you know that you’ve lost because you’re not the one he wants. You’ve lost Maria, accept it and move on. Enjoy yourself. Focus on your studies. Come on! You know what to do, so do it.
What are you waiting for? He’s not going to come back to you. You’ll see. Once you’re better and he knows that he can do it, he’ll go after her or some other girl. So why are you still here? Just let him go. Let him go and be happy. You don’t want to be here, you don’t want to be the cause for his decision to abstain from relationships. You don’t want to be that reason. So what if she does the things that you would so willingly give up? So what if she’s the one who makes him smile? You’re not that girl anymore. You can’t think about the past, you can’t think about the butterflies, you just can’t think about it!
Stop it Maria. Stop it. Stop it. You’re just hurting yourself. Just forget all about it. Just forget it. Just forget that one year ago, you were happy. Just forget those two days you got to see him. Just forget it all. Forget how it felt. Forget how it all felt because all it does it hurt you. Stop Maria, stop. There are no more dates. Forget the dates. Forget the days. Forget everything that happened. Forget how perfect it was. Forget it all.
You’re stupid. You’re a stupid bitch. Learn goddamn it. You know what to do, so why can’t you fucking do it?! Yeah, go ahead and cry you little bitch. Cry because that’s what you fucking deserve. You did this to your own goddamn self. You did it all by yourself and have only yourself to blame for it all. Stop being a stupid little girl. Stop it. Just stop.
Posted at 3:24 pm | Comments (2)