10th November, 2007
This Is So Goddamn Confusing
Oh right. I was supposed to be organizing my site. Okay, I’ll get to that after I organize my music. At least with this DVD.
Anyway, I am so confused. I just… I don’t know what to do. I think that in my rant about her, it made me feel more appreciative of him because she was so ready to throw away something so wonderful, so priceless, and the thing is, I was about ready to do the same. Okay, maybe not throw it away, but I was ready to shelve it in the closet for a bit.
That still doesn’t make me feel better about her leaving though. There is a large part of me that wants to yell at her, to slap her and say, “Bitch! You don’t throw away something like this. This is priceless. Be grateful that you have it!” And yes, now I feel only slightly better by calling her a bitch.
I don’t know her well enough to decide whether or not she’ll come back, but if she’s anything like me, she’ll come to her senses and realize that SB is not a person you can escape from. Once he’s hooked you, you’re in it for life.
But I do feel a little better today. I got a call from SB’s roommate, MC. I used to take care of her on Tuesday nights when her attendee wasn’t available so I was able to create a bond with her. She gave me a call today and I think it was something I really needed. Yeah, that was something I really really needed.
Posted at 11:31 pm | Comments (2)
10th November, 2007
This Is Not Making Me Happy
So she, the friend with whom I am uncomfortable, decided not to be a friend anymore. You would think that because I feel so uncomfortable, with her “out of the picture,” I would feel happier, but I don’t.
I mean, it’s one thing if the friendship dies because time passes, etc, but it’s another thing when one person actively chooses to end the friendship. That’s something that really bugs and upsets me.
You would think I’d be happy, but I’m not. She had no right to make those assumptions, to end a friendship with one of the greatest people you will ever meet. She had no idea how lucky she was, how much she had. With this stunt, he doesn’t deserve her, but I know that a part of him needs her there and I can only wish and hope that she will come to her senses and understand that he is not like the rest, that he is so much better than so many people, that has a very limited supply of friends because he knows the right people to be with. Most aren’t that lucky to spend as much time with him as she did and if she doesn’t realize that, then she’s just plain stupid.
I am so not happy. And now I’m hungry.
Posted at 7:36 pm | Comments (2)