8th November, 2007
This Is Only A Dream, Right?
One day, I want to wake up and just be away from all of this mess.
There’s this image that I have. There is a long syringe needle. It contains some sort of clear fluid that is supposed to kill me. The needle is aiming right for my heart and then it pierces the skin, going straight for the gold. Then it hits, makes contact. The needle slowly pumps the fluid into my heart, killing it slowly and painfully.
Just when I thought that image was gone from my head, it came back.
It came back.
There will be a time when I can say “I told you so” because that’s the day he’ll leave. I know it. I feel it.
I either want to wake up, or find that syringe aiming for my heart to stop this misery.
I’m going to take a walk and should I not return or should something happen to me, well, I tried. That’s all I can say. I tried. It may not have been my best effort (due to lack of motivation), but I tried.
Posted at 10:23 pm | Comments (2)
8th November, 2007
This Was A Long Time Ago
I remember in high school there was this program called “Every 15 Minutes.” It was first introduced during my junior year. Basically it was a two-day program that involved the whole school in a sense.
“Every 15 Minutes” is a program that’s designed to help increase the awareness of what happens when teens decide to drink and drive. Early in the year, they select a few students, about 15 or so. You have the ones who “die” every fifteen minutes during school (as announced on the P.A. system) who for the whole day, would not speak to anyone after their “death.” On the first day, everyone joins to see the “wreckage” from the “accident.” You have the drunk driver who gets arrested, you have the injured passengers, then the dead ones.
Anybody who participates with this program really goes through what it’s like. The person who drove drunk spends a night in jail and must call his/her parents and tell them the grim news. Those who died do not get to go home on the first night in order to stimulate the whole “dead” factor. Those injured are taken to a hospital where the parents are given the information. Whether or not the parents know ahead of time, I don’t know. The entire thing gets taped from the school to the jail to the hospital.
The next day, the school holds a funeral assembly. A few students will go up to the podium and read their farewell letter. A few parents will read their farewell letters. They really have to be into it and to actually feel what they feel, to feel what it’s like to leave your family and what it’s like to lose your own child.
Anyway, I thought of this because there was a song that played during the video, “Angels” sung by Sarah McLachlin. My current iPod playlist is set to my favorite a cappella songs and “Angels” happened to be one of them (covered by a college a cappella choir) and reminded me of this program. I wasn’t a participant, but when I watched the assembly, I remember feeling so moved and emotional. Of course, I had already known better than to drink and drive, but I believe that it’s a very good program to go through and to have the kids participate in. I just hope that others learned their lessons too.
Posted at 4:40 am | Comments (2)