1st November, 2007
This Was Never Going To Look Better
So I sit here thinking, yet again, about how much I really meant. I mean, I know I made a difference, I made an improvement, yes, but a part of me feels as if he knew that I wasn’t it, that I wasn’t going to be the one. Whether or not he felt that I was special or that I was worth it all, what upsets me is that he knew I couldn’t be it. He dangled himself in front of me (not purposely). It’s like he was toying with me and I didn’t even notice or know about it. I had just hoped. I hoped for a better future, I hoped for a change, I hoped that I was special enough to be the one, or at least better than the rest. I hoped to be different, I hoped to make a significant, and I do mean significant, difference, more than the one I made.
I had hope and he knew that they would be crushed, yet he continued, he allowed me to fall. He allowed me to get lost and lose the one part of me that I’m too afraid to ever let out again (should I ever find it).
That’s what upsets me. He knew and he let it happen anyway.
Posted at 11:42 pm | Comments (3)