28th October, 2007
This Is Out Of Words
I’ve decided that sleep no longer helps me. I try to sleep, but I have dreams I’d rather not have. I wake up and feel so unrested and more depressed than when I went to sleep.
I met with FH, a psychologist, this morning. Tomorrow, I have an appointment with FL, a psychiatrist. I’m still lost as to how those two are different, but I will find out tomorrow. My sessions with FH seem quite promising and since I would meet her on Sundays, I wouldn’t have to miss work or school to try and fit the appointments into my schedule. The only downside is if I plan to go home because right now, my sessions with her are in the morning and my parents won’t drive me back so early.
So this is another day. Just another day. I still feel as shitty as I did yesterday, if not worse.
Whoop dee doo folks.
Posted at 8:24 pm | Comments (2)
28th October, 2007
This Was Built On Making Asses
Sometimes you wonder what the whole point was, sometimes you wonder if all that you went through (or going through) is worth everything. I realized last night that I was not special to him, partly because he didn’t feel that way for me and partly because to him, he had seen no action on my part that showed him how special and how important he was to me.
So basically, our entire relationship was based on assumptions and miscommunication. We both thought everything was fine, but in reality, things were not.
Now, I don’t have anything else to say. Now, is there anything left to say? A part of me wishes that I could forget everything because not only does my heart hurt from losing someone, it hurts to know that what I thought had significant meaning, no longer does.
Posted at 9:27 am | Comment (0)